I had a chance to golf the other day.  I normally hate to golf because: 1.) I suck at it, 2.) It takes too much time and 3.) you can't socialize on a golf course.  Golf is a sport you play by yourself no matter how many are in your party.  You can't talk during the tee off.   You are alone with your ball on the fairway and people tend to look at you funny when you talk to your ball, although I have seen that done more than once.  And you can't talk while on the green, you might mess up someone's putt.  So how is a girl supposed enjoy golfing if she can't socialize?

The only reason I agreed to golf was because an old friend of mine was visiting from Dallas with her husband and  I suggested the men go golfing and we women could catch-up with our lives.  But, alas, my friend wanted to golf, so we rounded up our neighbor and made two threesomes.

The men teed off first and quickly pulled away from our female threesome.  Baring down on us from behind were two heavyset women in a golf cart.  My neighbor, who is certainly the best golfer of us three, suggested we play best ball.  We all agreed, since none of us really wanted to keep score.

This was the point at which I began to enjoy myself golfing for the first time in a long time.  Now my Texan friend Diane, only golfs in tournaments with all her male vendors, so she enjoys getting special treatment, including throwing golf etiquette out the window and doing her thing.  Her vendors are happy to accommodate her to keep her business.

My neighbor, on the other hand has never played tournament golf and plays regularly, steadily improving her game.  She sized up immediately that we were never going to get through nine holes with these two duffers (myself and Diane) so made the best ball suggestion.

We began encouraging  and congratulating each other on our good shots and consoling each other on our bad shots with things like "nice idea" and "unlucky."  These terms are stolen from our ever-patient sometime soccer coach, Peter Lawson who is the epitome of positivity and encouragement during our Sunday morning Over- 40 Women's Soccer League games.

We decided not to tell the men that we were playing best ball and see if they gave us any mad props for finishing right behind them.  Well, all that got lost, when one of the men made a hole in one and we had to hear about it for the rest of the afternoon.

Later that night I told my husband that we had decided to play best ball on the first hole.  That was when he admitted to me that he was wondering how we kept up with them.  Of course, if I had never brought up the fact that we were playing best ball, he never would have allowed us a compliment that we kept up with them so well.

That's the difference between men and women.  We as women care alot more about socializing than winning and had a great time playing together since we always ended up starting from the same place on the fairway.  It's also easier to get away with chatting on the fairway since no one is usually around to shhh you.

When the round was over we all agreed that we had a great time and the weather had cooperated nicely.  I even finished the last  three holes in my bare feet, since I had forgotten my socks and my golf shoes were starting to chafe my feet.

It was just like when we play soccer on Sundays.  We play for the exercise and the camaraderie and have a great time whether we win or lose.  Yes, winning is even more fun, but not that much more fun.  Our reward lies in our  our ritual after-game breakfast at our favorite spot where we share our joys and sorrows, our losses and triumphs and get the feedback and support we always need make our day more meaningful and worthwhile.  See, we don't look at life like a scoreboard with a tally of wins and losses, we are always looking to learn more to improve our lives by admitting our failures and mistakes and hoping to find some empathy and encouragement to see us through.

I will be golfing again this afternoon and I am actually looking forward to it for the first time in a long time.  And even though it will be a foursome with our husbands, the women will still be playing best ball.  And even if we don't play well, we will still have had a great time!